So here I sit at almost 4 in the morning...not asleep. Apparently this happens when you sleep half the day away, but oh well.
In other news, J has been gone for ohh 5 almost 6 days (but hey who's counting?). Ok fine fine they've been the 5 almost 6 longest days of my life. Not that I haven't had fun, because I have, but I think him going away made me realize how much fun I do have when he is here. Dangit. I took a really long enjoyable shower the other day washing, shampooing, conditioning, shaving, and purposely avoiding my legs. I turned into the Wooly Mammoth for a few days but hey, a girl's gotta stay warm somehow when she doesn't have anyone to keep her that way. Aha. I've also actually found that I've started stopping myself when almost making comments about him, for fear of over-talking him since he's been gone. It was kind of an eye-opener. But I mean, when you go from seeing someone everyday to not seeing them at all of course you're going to have some things you'll want to say about them, right? Normal, right? Oh well, screw normal. I keep stopping myself and telling myself that this is too fast. Too much, too fast. He's not ready, there's no way he could be ready, and I'm not ready to deal with someone who's not ready cause I sure as hell am. But then I stop, and breathe, and realize that sometimes you just have to take what comes at you and not question it but just go with it. So that's what I'm going to try to do...just go with it. Go with wherever this goes. Because so far I like it. Alot. More than like it, actually.
The ex ended up tagging along on the trip, which at first I was very NOT ok with. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that she was just being weird and kind of dumb for even wanting to go. He didn't want her there, he TOLD her he didn't want her there. And you know what she said in response? Well, my name's on the plane ticket and your mother wants me there so I'm going. Crazy bitch. There are things on and off that I've been told throughout this trip that have made me feel good and other things that have made me feel bad. She wants a second chance blahblah, she gets angry that he's talking to me while she's there because it's rude blahblah, but mostly that some of his family doesn't know that they're broken up yet. WHAT? His grandma just likes her so much that his mom didn't want to tell her until after they had come to visit. Aw, how nice...NOT. But, some of them do already know about me so I guess I can't complain too much. I don't know, I have a pretty good feeling about things, and I trust him, because so far he's proven himself trustworthy. And as long as I have the hope that one day they'll get to meet me and they'll like me even more then I guess I just have to deal. And he has already met 75% of my family, so it's pretty easy for me to assume that I will.
AND, tonight I was talking about how I hadn't been anywhere all year...or flown anywhere anyway and how I wanted to go somewhere and out of nowhere HE brought up the idea that we should go somewhere for Spring Break. Somewhere flyable. Or shipable. And I mean, I had kinda sorta thought about it because I know that I, personally, want to go somewhere for sure but I figured it would be way too soon to mention something like that to him. Because I wouldn't want the idea of a trip that would be 3 or so months away to scare him away or anything. And then he went and brought it up. Ohh man. Could this boy get any better? Aaaand I get to see him tomorrow. :)