I remember a time when I was still with boy A, and I saw a picture of boy B kissing some girl on his myspace. I felt a veryvery tiny part of me die that night. And I HAD a boyfriend, whom I felt that I loved very much at the time. That's the funny thing. How it catches you when you least expect it. How the moment you put your guard down you realize it's coming in and trying to re-vamp your life. Little by little. Piece by piece. And in a way I think that picture was what made me want to talk to boy B again. It killed me to not know what was going on in his life, to not know who this girl was. But more so it killed me that this girl wasn't me. And in some weird way that is what provoked me to show up at his house at 2 o'clock in the morning, to hand him a bottle of blue Powerade, and to give him a hug. I hated missing out.
And it's part of why I can never go back to boy A. I lied to him too many times, alot of times about things that had to do with boy B. Boy A will always be the one who I left for boy B. And now boy B has left me. For who knows what. And now I can't even see what's going on in his myspace life. And he can't see what's going on in mine. And I'm over it. But at the same time it would be so great for him to see some picture of me and to hate the feeling that he's missing out on my life, and to show up at my doorstep with a bottle of blue Powerade and a smile.