it's kind of funny to listen to people trying to give you advice on how to move on. to me, in a way, it's like saying "i'm sorry your grandma died, but really...you shouldn't go to her funeral, it'll only make things worse." how can you not go to the funeral? i mean, isn't that what gives you closure? well...it turns out that there was no funeral, there was no closure, so i had to make my own closure. i thought i had finally closed up the wound but it turned out that i did a very crappy job with the stitches. one wrong move and it was busted open again. luckily though, coping is easier the second time around. i condensed what first took two months into about four days. party time.
i'm slowly, and i mean very slowly, starting to accept my lonely single life. i mean hey, i get to do whatever i want whenever i want without having to check in with anybody. (things such as catching up on laundry, grocery shopping, reading, studying my ass off, etc.) it's quite exciting really. who am i kidding...i think the part i miss most is having someone to guide me through the day. something to look forward to. something to make the bland and mundane not seem so bland and mundane.
all in all i guess the best thing i can do with my time is make myself the best i can be...as cheesy as that sounds. i need to get used to recreating myself because even though i swear i'll never let it happen again, i'm sure at some point when i'm least expecting it, i'll let someone do this to me again. photographyphotographyphotography here i come. it will once again be my escape.